


It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

by Moonlight511



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: First Time, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlight511/pseuds/Moonlight511
Summary: Sometimes it's hard for Barney to focus when Lee ist just too damn distracting
Relationships: Lee Christmas/Barney Ross
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

**Author's Note:**

> I stole the titel from Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game", even though the working title was "Let me put your hands on me" as in Katy Perry's "Teenage dream" :D Somehow this was stuck in my head during writing this.. don't question it, my brain is weird. 
> 
> Also I probably shouldn't have watched Mechanic: Resurrection again with Arthur wearing neoprene clothes like 80% of the movie *shrug*

Barney couldn’t say how or why but lately their missions got weirder. Not necessarily because of the mission itself, but because of various incidents during them. It was just a few weeks ago when he and Lee had gotten in a fight while they had been in the middle of a shootout. Lee had been careless, at least if you asked Barney, and could’ve been shot. Nothing had happened of course, because Lee was damn good at his job, but Barney had been pissed anyhow and he had told Lee just as much. Maybe he should’ve had waited until they weren’t under fire anymore, but instead Barney had started yelling at him right there while the bullets flew. Lee, being Lee, had shouted back at him of course. They probably would have carried on for quite some time if the team wouldn’t have intervened and practically dragged them out of there. 

Barney hadn’t known it then, but he was seriously concerned that Lee would get hurt and that was why he hadn’t been able to control his temper. He didn’t think about why that had scared him so much, he really didn’t want to go there, he just acknowledged it. But with a few more similar occurrences he couldn’t avoid thinking about it, but his simple conclusion was that Lee just was his best mate so of course he wouldn’t want him to get hurt. As for some other.. feelings he had had, Barney just told himself that considering Lee was actually pretty hot and Barney hadn’t been touched by anyone but himself in a while, it wasn’t too surprising. That’s what Barney tried to tell himself at least. 

But no matter where those thoughts came from, today he might have to try and concentrate a little harder, because they were off to a mission that required someone to get to a yacht and secure some intel. Since Lee was the best swimmer, he was the obvious choice. Which meant he would probably spend a good amount of the mission shirtless. At least Barney was prepared for that. 

When they arrived at the beach, Caesar was already waiting for them. He had spent the last hour watching the targeted boat, registering every movement. As suspected the crew left for shore fifteen minutes ago, with only two men staying behind. 

“The vessel’s lying about 400 meters from shore, the two guys don’t seem too bright. Shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“Good work, Caesar,” Barney patted him on the shoulder, “let’s do this then. Toll, Gunnar, Doc you split up and find and follow the crewmembers. Lee, get ready, Caesar’s gonna cover you waterborne, just in case. I’ll stay back here, in case one of them’s back too soon.”

“Alright, we’re on our way,” Toll tucked his gun into his belt and nodded in the direction of a bar he was about to check out. 

They needed to be as low-key as possible, so everyone was dressed in streetwear, guns and knives well hidden. Caesar had managed to obtain a Jet Ski in order to not attract any attention while he would observe Lee swimming and boarding the yacht. Letting him swim there was another precaution for not catching anyone’s eye. Nobody would suspect a swimmer could be on his way to board a yacht. 

Since Doc, Toll and Gunnar were off to search for the crew and Caesar had hopped on his Jet Ski again, only Lee and Barney were left standing in the parking lot.

“Let’s get this over with,” Lee mumbled as he opened the car door and threw his cap onto the seat. 

Barney rolled his eyes at his enthusiasm and leaned against the van, bracing himself, because Lee already started taking off the rest of his clothes. His shoes and socks were already in the car and Barney risked a side glance as he took off his shirt. Lee seemed to have noticed because he gave him a quizzical look, but Barney held his gaze, pretending he didn’t just check him out. After he took off his pants, he leaned into the car, seemingly putting them on the back seat, but he came out with another kind of fabric. Barney recognized a neoprene suit and now it was his turn to look questioningly.

“You’re really gonna be wearing long sleeves even while swimming?” Barney chuckled, but Lee just looked at him pointedly, “I’m not freezing my balls off in the briny. Especially since I don’t know how long I’ll have to stay in there. I’m not that confident in your plans as you should have already noticed.”

“Alright, alright,” Barney held up his hands in defense, a faint smile still on his lips. 

But it faded rather fast as he watched Lee put on the wetsuit. He sat on the back seat sideways, feet on the street, wearing only his speedos. Barney had to suppress a groan, he’d actually thought Lee would wear his usual loose swim trunks instead of fucking speedos that showed off almost every damn inch of his muscular body. And if that wasn’t already distracting enough, watching him pull on the neoprene that wrapped up his muscles, highlighting them even more, did the rest. 

Barney closed his eyes for a second before he moved to the trunk, digging through their stuff, pretending to search something, just so he wouldn’t have to look at Lee. 

After a few minutes he stepped back around the car, he didn’t want to be suspicious, and thankfully Lee was almost dressed. Barney really tried not to stare, but it was hard not to the way the wetsuit clung to Lee’s body, practically made to be stared at. Lee must’ve noted, because he gave Barney another questioning look. 

Barney cleared his throat, “need any help?” 

That was all he could come up with, the zipper on Lee’s back was still open after all. 

“Naah, almost done.” 

At least Lee didn’t say anything further, but instead of simply pulling up the zipper, he put some vaseline around his neck, craning it to reach every spot where the neoprene could possibly chafe. Barney just hoped he would finally get into the water so he could calm the fuck down. 

After Lee was done, he put on a leg holster, covertly carrying two of his knives, and made his way down the beach. Before he was out of earshot, he turned around and yelled, “concentrate, alright? I don’t wanna get killed out there.” 

“Just go already,” Barney groaned, but he was actually embarrassed that Lee had noticed how strange he must have acted. 

By the time Barney thought he was prepared, he really hadn’t considered Lee wearing a neoprene suit. More specifically a skintight neoprene suit that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

When Lee reached the water, Barney leaned against the car, closing his eyes for a few seconds before he put his gun into his belt and took a camp chair, searching for an observation spot. They wanted to be unobtrusive after all. 

The mission was as easy as suspected. The crew had spent the whole time at a bar in the city, leaving Gunnar, Doc and Toll with nothing to do other than wait and see. Caesar had been just as idle since Lee had no problems getting on and off the yacht unseen. He had gotten what they needed and was already on his way back, crawling back to shore with smooth, skillful movements. 

Barney leaned farther back in his chair and enjoyed the view. Since he was mostly hidden behind some trees, Lee wouldn’t see him immediately. But when he finally got out of the water, _and Barney definitely hated himself for the thought alone_ , it looked like it was straight out of a fucking movie scene. He walked through the shallow water, the sun beaming around him, wiping his hand through his short hair, probably already drying it in the process and that was when Barney lost all control over himself and couldn’t stop himself from staring. 

After just a few steps Lee pulled down his zipper and carded the suit over his shoulders, freeing his arms. He pushed it down until it sat way down low on his hips, showing off his sixpack and v-shaped Adonis belt. Barney could hardly remember when the last time he had been so damn attracted by a man had been. But it wasn’t only Lee’s physique, it was also the big smile on his face that said that he had genuinely enjoyed the swim and the way he moved now, almost carefree. 

Barney took a few moments, calming and bracing himself before he stood up and made his way over to the car, deliberately not looking at Lee who was now close enough so Barney could see the water droplets running down his chest. 

“Need that?” 

“Uuh.. uhm.. what?” Barney really tried, but he just hadn't gotten what Lee said, he had tried too hard not to pay attention to him. When he looked at Lee, he rolled his eyes at him, “that chair, moron.” 

“Uuh, sure. Help yourself,” Barney gestured to said chair. 

Lee pulled the wetsuit over his hips before he sat down to peel off the rest of it, but his gaze stayed on Barney, looking quizzical, “what’s up with you today?” 

“Nothing. I’m fine..” 

Lee’s expression made pretty clear that he didn’t believe Barney at all, but he didn’t say anything. 

When Lee was dressed - _since when did he wear baseball caps and why could he pull it off so damn well?-_ and the rest of the guys showed up, they were on the move. And even though it would only be an hour until they were back home or at the hangar at least, it would probably be a deadass long drive for Barney.

Astoninglishy enough the drive was uneventful and thanks to the guy’s chatter Barney was distracted enough from what he'd seen on the beach to concentrate on his driving. He was quiet for the most part, only participating in their banter every now and then so he wouldn’t be suspicious. 

Barney parked the van on a dirt track near the hangar where they had picked it up earlier and some CIA hireling could retrieve it later. On their way to the hangar Lee came to walk besides Barney, giving him a once over, “you in for an old school action movie and a beer?”

Barney considered his offer for a few moments. On the one hand he wasn’t sure if it would be reasonable to spend more time with Lee after today, but on the other hand maybe it wasn’t too bad having a distraction instead of thinking about it all evening and probably all night.

“Yeah, sure. Meet me at my place?”

“Yep,” was Lee’s only answer as he already made his way over to his Ducati.

“You’ll be cooking for me?” 

Barney snorted as he let them into his apartment, but still went straight into the kitchen after taking off his shoes with Lee following suit. While Barney scoured through the fridge Lee seated himself on the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen, just like he always did when he let Barney cater for him. Barney chuckled to himself, it wasn’t out of the ordinary but it still seemed like such a domestic move. He turned around and handed Lee a beer, he had no problem reaching Lee without even stepping forward because of the smallness of his kitchen. Barney went for the stove, taking a pot and spaghetti from the wall cupboard above it, but before he could get to work, Lee interrupted him, “so, you wanna tell me what was up with you today?” 

When Barney turned around Lee was watching him closely and Barney had to suppress a groan. He didn’t think Lee would revive the topic, but he was wrong apparently. 

“I really don’t.” 

“Just say it, feel better and be done with it,” Lee suggested anyway. 

“Lee.. I really..,” but Lee cut him off, “just say it, Barney.” 

Now he let the groan escape his throat, “fine.” 

He leaned against the counter, his eyes steady on Lee, bracing himself for what was to come. He wasn’t sure if he should tell him the truth, but maybe Lee was right and just needed to get it out of his system. 

“Well, I might have been a bit distracted today..,” he trailed off. 

“Yeah, I noticed. That was not the question.” 

“What distracted me was how.. God.. how good you looked in that wetsuit.” 

“Good?” 

Barney groaned again and buried his head in his hands, muffling his voice, “ ‘hot’ comes closer.”

“See, wasn’t so bad, right? But if I remember correctly, you’ve even seen me naked before..?”

Barney was baffled at how at ease Lee was with this whole situation and when he raised his head he saw the grin on Lee’s face, apparently he was even having fun with it. 

“Christmas! Do we have to do this?” 

“Just tell me. Come on,” he _was_ having fun.

“It’s just different. Being naked in a shower block, washing off all that sweat and blood from a job we just worked,” Barney paused and added ‘which is also kinda hot’ in his thoughts, before he went on, “versus you in a skintight neoprene suit that shows off _everything,_ looking as if you’re just casually out surfing for fun..,” even with only thinking parts of it, he might have given away way too much already. 

“Lemme get that straight, you prefer surfer boys over badass mercenaries?” Lee’s tone was amused but still sounded slightly bothered. 

“Seriously? _That’s_ what’s disturbing you? Not maybe the fact that I just told you that I thought you looked hot today?” Barney straightened himself and raised his hands in a questioning motion. 

Lee’s eyes were fixed on him as he smoothly slid down from the counter, coming to stand in front of Barney. With their faces only inches apart Lee’s voice was rough and low, “maybe that should disturb me.. but it doesn’t.” 

Barney’s eyes went wide at the disclosure, did he just imply that he might be having similar feelings? Unable to move, Barney just stood there staring at Lee, who still seemed to be pretty at ease. And who also seemed to move closer if Barney wasn’t totally deluded right now, but before he could assure himself or maybe even ask, Lee’s lips were on his. He didn’t go for chaste, that wouldn’t have been _Lee_ , a little careful maybe definitely not chaste. 

Even though Barney was pretty shocked and didn’t really understand what was happening, he almost immediately kissed him back and they promptly found a mutual rhythm. He tilted his head for better access just in time with Lee pushing his tongue inside his mouth. Barney groaned and twisted his hand into the front of Lee’s shirt, urging him even closer. The kiss was nowhere near careful anymore with their tongues pushing and sliding against each other but that was when the realization hit Barney and he pulled back his head, breaking the kiss, “what the fuck are we doing?”

He’d barely caught his breath before his outburst which made Lee chuckled at him, still totally relaxed, “come on Barney, give yourself some credit. I think you know this one.” He paused, now his trademark shark-like grin on his face, “and I also think you’ve spent quite some time thinking about it. Amiright?”

Barney groaned and knew exactly that he therewith confirmed Lee’s words, but he couldn’t care less. The only thing he cared for was pulling Lee back in, kissing him again. If someone had told him just hours earlier that he’d be kissing Lee Christmas, he would’ve told them they were nuts. He still wasn’t sure if he was shocked, relieved, just turned on or all told. His hand was still clenched in Lee’s shirt, but he raised the other one as well, gripping the back of Lee’s head, pushing him even closer. Lee’s hands came to rest on Barney’s hips before he slid them around and gripped his ass, pressing his groin to his own. They had to break the kiss because the sudden friction made them both moan in pleasure. 

“I feel like I was not the only one thinking about this,” Barney breathed out, but Lee just grinned at him, “wanna take this elsewhere?”

“God, yes,” Barney immediately answered, because even though he didn’t know what he was doing, he was certain he didn’t want it to end. 

He wanted to just walk over to his bedroom, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing Lee again, so he tried to pull him along. Even though that was pretty ineffective, because it took at least twice as long and they stumbled a few times, Barney couldn’t bring himself to let go of Lee’s mouth. 

When they finally made it to the bed they slowed down a bit. Lee took off his shirt before he pulled Barney’s shirt up and over his head, his arms eagerly raised to help Lee. But as soon as his shirt was off he put his hands on Lee’s shoulder and chest, tracing his muscles like he’d done earlier with his eyes. Lee kissed him again, slower this time but not less sensual. His hands roamed over Barney’s sides and abdomen until they reached his fly. Lee broke the kiss to look him in the eye and when Barney nodded slightly, Lee started to open his zipper and button fly and pulled down his pants and underwear. Lee sneaked a peak at Barney’s cock, but tried not to be too obvious because he didn’t want to upset Barney. It was not that long ago that Lee figured out his feelings for Barney and he could vividly remember how he had freaked out, but maybe he could ease Barney past it. At least right now Barney didn’t appear to be near having a breakdown, his hands still exploring Lee’s upper body with less hesitant moves now, so Lee kissed him again before he reached out his hand once more. He traced it down Barney’s chest, over his abdomen like he did moments ago, but didn’t stop until his hand was on his dick, slowly stroking it. Barney moaned into his mouth and shuddered under his touch. He was already hard, but Lee had felt that already when he had pressed into him earlier and Lee was just the same. 

“Lee..,” Barney sounded almost pleading, but also a little unsure. 

“It’s fine, just relax,” Lee reassured him as he put his hands on his chest and gently pushed him onto the bed. Barney instantly wriggled out of his pant legs and crawled further onto the bed, watching Lee take off his own shorts. By the time they touched the floor, Lee was already on the bed, crawling on top of Barney. He braced his elbows on either side of his head and leaned down for another kiss that was much more urgent than just minutes ago. Barney promptly slid his tongue inside Lee’s mouth, swirling it, but Lee only slid his tongue over Barney’s bottom lip before biting it. Barney’s moan was muffled by Lee’s mouth, that was turned up in a content smile. But his smile didn’t last too long. When he pushed his hips forward, grinding together their dicks, Lee had to close his eyes, but he didn’t stop the moan escaping his throat. Barney threw back his head, his hands grabbing at Lee’s shoulders and back. He kept thrusting his hips and picked up the speed. The feeling of their dicks rubbing against each other was almost overwhelming and Lee had to stop and rest his head on Barney’s shoulder for a moment, trying to collect himself, before he pulled back. Barney let out a frustrated sound at which Lee had to chuckle. In a swift movement he sat back on his heels and gripped Barney’s cock tight, stroking him in a fast motion. When he used his thumb to spread his precum, Barney moaned but Lee wasn’t sure if he was less or even more frustrated than before. Barney’s hands clenched the sheets while his whole body squirmed underneath Lee, trying to push up his hips, before he suddenly propped himself up on his elbows. 

“Lee, wait,” he breathed out, “You.. I want you to..” his movement kind of hesitant but still somehow sure at the same time as he reached for Lee’s dick. When he started stroking him, Lee stopped his own movement, head thrown back, eyes closed, he relished the feeling of Barney’s hand on him. But after only a few moments he rolled himself off of Barney, lying down next to him, facing him. Barney seemed to get what Lee was doing and turned on his side simultaneously. Their mouths bumped together while their hands reached for their dicks again, but they soon had to break the kiss again in order to catch their breaths. They found a mutual rhythm, jerking each other rather hard and fast and it didn’t take long until both of them were on the edge already. After a few more strokes, with a last moan Lee reached his climax shuddering through the aftermath, but he never stopped stroking Barney. Watching Lee come, Barney couldn’t avert his eyes. The sight as well as Lee’s firm grip and fast rhythm made him get off just seconds after him. Lee watched Barne closely, searching for any evidence for a nearing breakdown, but Barney seemed not only relaxed but content. So he gave him a short kiss before he rolled onto his back and Barney mirrored his movement. 

They lay like that for a few moments, both of them catching their breath. After they calmed down a bit, Barney turned his head, smiling at Lee, “so.. you knew?”

“Naah, I guessed,” Lee turned his head as well, grin on his face, “but you’re as subtle as a sledgehammer, so..” 

Barney groaned, hiding his face in the crook of his arm, making Lee laugh. 

“It’s okay, I was just waiting for you to catch up.” 

“Thank you,” Barney said ironically, ”that would mean I’m the dense one, yeah?”

“Well.. You’re no spring chicken anymore,” Lee chuckled. 

“We’ll see about that.” Barney winked at him before he leaned over and kissed Lee. 

  
  



End file.
